Hyperacusis is something I didn't even know had a name until last week. The pamphlets the FBI gave me, my doctor, and everyone I talked to... No one told me it had a name. Here is what Wikipedia has to say about it:
Hyperacusis (also spelled hyperacousis) is a health condition characterized by an increased sensitivity to certain frequency and volume ranges of sound (a collapsed tolerance to usual environmental sound). A person with severe hyperacusis has difficulty tolerating everyday sounds, some of which may seem unpleasantly or painfully loud to that person but not to others
So basically, a very old part of your brain that focuses on animal instinct goes into hyperactive mode. It knows you were in a life or death situation and has a new prime directive that overrides everything else: Survival. It wants you to survive so now your senses are working at maximum capacity. There are many other things that this effects but I am going to focus on the Hyperacusis part.
Sound.
Sound was unbearable for weeks. I remember I could hear the ink escaping from my pen as I wrote on paper. That is how sensitive to sound I was. With sound also being a trigger for a panic attack/ASD or PTSD episodes, it was absolutely one of the worst parts I have, and to a lesser degree, still experience.
Can you imagine someone coming up behind you, stealthy and quiet, then screaming really loud in your ear? The surprise makes you jump and scream, right? But then you laugh it off as a silly prank and go on with your day. Your heart was racing for a moment but now it's back to normal. For me, it wasn't like that at all, for you see, I could hear almost every sound you probably ignore on a daily basis. Small noises like paper fluttering in the wind would sound like a hurricane. The ice maker in my fridge going off sounded like an avalanche. A door shutting sounded like a gun shot. Each would make my heart race for what seemed like a long time. Even after the triggered panic attack I would still be on edge. These are just three examples because sound was literally painful and everything was booming.
When I first got home I had at least 2 panic attacks a day and at least 1 crying fit every day. Most of these were triggered by sound. In order to get on with my life, I started wearing headphones and listening to quiet music. It gave me something to focus on and it also soothed me. It didn't work every time, though, so I had to buy earplugs and wear them all the time. That made the sound almost seem normal. Currently, a little over two months from the incident, I still struggle with not needing to wear them. I want to get used to all of these noises but sometimes it can still be intolerable.
My hearing used to be super sensitive and every sound used to be unbearable at all times. Now it's selective. Some days are better than others, some sounds are quieter than others. The sounds still make me wince and I feel the need to shake it off. Just now someone shut a door and it made my heart rate spike, but I focused on the door, and I was able to recover from it. I am sure the medication also helps me to control my anxiety, but I still have my earplug around as a safety net as well.
I don't have any universal tips or tricks to deal with it. I am sure everyone experiences these things differently. In time, I am sure my hearing will be back to normal, and my attacks will subside. Earplugs have been the way to go for me, and listening to soft music has helped as well.
It's weird. I know the Hyperacusis is meant to help me survive, but we are such evolved creatures that it's actually doing the opposite. I just wish more people talked about it so I knew if there was more I could do to lessen it. Hopefully in time, it will go, but until then the sounds of the ticking clock counting down to that day is deafening.
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